June 12, 2025

Desirae Gray wishes that on Sunday, she could serve her father his favorite dessert, chocolate delight, a decadent concoction of layers of a cream cheese/whipped cream filling topped with chocolate pudding and more whipped cream, all atop a shortbread crust.

Daniel “Danny” Finneman also would never turn down a homemade caramel roll. Gray would use his sister’s recipe when preparing those for baking.

But Finneman died unexpectedly March 20, 2023, while driving a semi in Colorado. This will be Gray’s third Father’s Day without him.

So since Gray can’t bake for her father, she’s willing to bake for others. Through her Cake Haven page on Bakesy, an app designed for home-bakery businesses, she is offering a special Father’s Day menu of caramel rolls, no-bake cheesecake, and chocolate chip and s’mores cookies — whatever would most please Dad’s sweet tooth.

But she’s also going beyond that. Families who have lost a father or grandfather in the past month may nominate themselves to receive a dozen free cookies or caramel rolls. Two winners will be chosen and announced on the Cake Haven Facebook page at noon Friday.

That Cake Haven exists at all is in large part because of Finneman’s pride in his daughter’s baking skills and his encouragement to share it with others. He used to suggest starting a coffee shop.

About a year ago, Gray decided to venture out with a home-based bakery. She offers cakes, both large and small cookies, muffins and bars along with harder-to-find items like fresh pudding, caramel croissants, mochi doughnuts and homemade ice cream. Cake Haven emphasizes healthy ingredients with organic, free-range eggs or gluten-free and dye-free baked goods.

“My cakes have 15 different ingredients,” Gray said. “There’s no cake mixes.”

Raised in North Dakota, Gray moved to Sioux Falls nine years ago. She and her husband, Casey, are the parents of three daughters, Haven, Hazel and Wren. Gray used her oldest daughter’s first name for her business since “haven” means a safe place.

Finneman, an over-the-road truck driver, came south, too, staying with the Gray family to maximize his time with the grandchildren. Gray has a brother and a sister. Finneman was grandfather to five when he died; that since has expanded to six, with another on the way.

Finneman’s heart extended to total strangers, Gray said. At his memorial service at Heritage Funeral Home, his family heard from people they didn’t know who spoke about his outreach and his faith.

“A lady got up and spoke at my dad’s funeral —  we had no idea — that Dad had shared the love of Jesus to her when she was in a dark spot and thinking of killing herself,” Gray said. “She said if it wasn’t for my dad, she didn’t think she’d be here.”

Finneman prayed with another woman at a truck stop. She had received dire news from her doctor. Finneman assured her that she would live and prayed with her. When next he saw her, her health had improved.

“He would constantly give people at the truck stop money when he didn’t have any himself,” Gray said. “He would give away his car, and he wouldn’t have one for himself.”

Finneman also would give away bundt cakes to people he felt had showed extraordinary kindness to others. Gray continued that tradition in a way last year when she contacted two churches before her father’s early April birthday. She asked to donate, anonymously, four bundt cakes to families grieving a loss.

“Instead of me sitting in grief, I used it to make someone feel better,” Gray said. “One of the pastors said it brought them to tears. You know a few weeks after someone has died, after the dust settles, you almost feel lonely. Everyone else is busy in their world, and that’s where all the sadness settles in. I wanted to let them know how I had experienced loss.”

As Cake Haven becomes more established, Gray hopes to expand that experience. She plans to have funeral homes ask family members to share the deceased’s favorite dessert and then make it for them.

This week, however, her focus is on Father’s Day. Raised by her dad as a single father from early elementary school through high school, Gray took over the baking for her family in second grade.

“I cook, but I like baking way more than cooking,” she said.

She chose to offer puddings and homemade ice cream to bring back memories for her customers and to offer healthier options. Making pudding came to her when she learned that a teacher at her daughter’s school followed a gluten-free diet, and Gray wanted to make sure the teacher had something special.

“A place in New York has rice pudding, and I thought, oh, I need to ship this to my house,” Gray said. “But it cost over $100 … so I looked up recipes and made it.”

Finneman was a baker too. At Christmastime, he would make a rum cake for the teachers and staff at his granddaughter’s elementary school. Gray keeps those on the Cake Haven menu and took a rum cake to Harrisburg Explorer last year in her dad’s memory.

Gray plans to make massive quantities of caramel roll dough and cookie dough this week so she can turn around last-minute orders. She also has taken a few special orders, like a French silk pie, but those need to be made, you know, like now.

She does have a personal baking assignment to accomplish this week. Husband Casey hasn’t made any special requests yet, but Gray has a couple of ideas.

“He loves cheesecake, so probably cheesecake,” Gray said. “Or he loves my caramel rolls. And I made homemade tiramisu, and he loved that. I need to ask him.”