Sept. 13, 2025

“Social connection is one of the most important human needs.”

That was the first line of a program I’ve now listened to multiple times from CNN’s Fareed Zakaria, whose show generally focuses on geopolitical issues but who devoted his entire hour recently to a topic titled “Disconnected: Life in a Disruptive Digital Age.”

Our collective sense of community increasingly has been unraveling, replaced by loneliness and isolation, he said.

“Marriage rates are near all-time lows in America. One in five people report feeling lonely every day, and the number of Americans who say they have no close friends has quadrupled in the last three decades.”

Why?

That’s what the rest of the program explored. You can listen to it here. But there is no simple answer. It’s a time of disruption and division, horrific headlines and technological change, and many associated factors have caused people to disconnect from one another.

It’s everything from kids not being encouraged to freely play to adults not speaking as much to one another over the phone or in person.

One element I found especially eye-opening was about boys. While it’s clearly documented that the advent of smartphones and social media has led to depression and anxiety in girls, the effect on boys is just as disturbing.

Essentially, “boys have been being pulled out of the real world” beginning in the 1970s and 1980s with the development of video games, according to social psychologist Jonathan Haidt, a professor of ethical leadership at New York University and author of the bestselling book “The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness.”

“As school became more hostile to boys — no more recess, no more shop class, no more auto mechanics — boys have been withdrawing from the real world and putting a lot more of their time and effort into video games and other online pursuits, and boys also seem to be a bit more responsive to dopamine,” he said on the program.

“So there are now all these companies whose business model is to addict boys. It starts with the video games, goes on to porn, vaping, marijuana pens; all of these things are dopamine. All of these things are addictive. All of these things are hitting boys.”

Video games can set you up for gambling and have led to gamification in everything from investments to sports betting, he added.

“So I think we’re really destroying the boys, and I think what we’re going to see over time is that actually the boys are doing worse than the girls,” Haidt said. “The girls are much more likely to have finished high school, gone to college, finished college, gotten a job, moved out of home. Boys are less likely to do those things now. So I think this is going to affect everything.”

He continued, noting that “we’re changing humanity at exactly the moment when our machines are getting so much smarter than us.”

Then, I had a conversation with Rebecca Heiss, who is the keynote speaker for this year’s WIN in Workforce Summit.

You can hear her for yourself Oct. 23.

Heiss has conducted research on stress, which the National Science Foundation calls “transformative.”

Her message is about how to use stress as a competitive advantage, but here’s what stuck with me the most in our conversation:

“Our brain can’t hold curiosity and fear at the same time,” she said. “There’s no mechanism that allows you to hold those things in conjunction. When we get curious, we kick ourselves out of fear.”

Now reverse that.

When we are afraid, or stressed, our brains are physically incapable of being curious.

That’s a huge problem for everything from education to the business world that I’ve never heard anyone talk about.

Curiosity in the classroom and in the workplace is invaluable. It’s what drives learning, what prompts innovation and what helps build relationships. Now think about how many people are stressed or anxious.

The internet overflows with statistics on this, but a few I found from the American Institute of Stress were that one in three people recently reported feeling extreme stress and that 94 percent of workers report feeling stressed at work.

Then there’s this:

• 35 percent of workers say their boss is a cause of their workplace stress.
• 80 percent of U.S. employees experience work stress because of ineffective company communications.
• 39 percent of North American employees report that their workload is the main source of the work stress.

Is this data filled with perception-related subjectivity? Definitely. But does it matter? If your employees are stressed, they can’t be curious. That means they’re not as inclined to ask the questions that lead to business development opportunities, new products and strong relationships among colleagues and with clients.

Likewise, if our students are overcome by stress, they can’t bring curiosity to learning. They won’t have the level of engagement necessary to fulfill the potential they otherwise might have had.

It won’t be easy or immediate, but a cultural shift appears to be needed in so many ways — one that replaces disconnection with human connection. Think about the benefits: stronger relationships, less stress, healthier communities and workplaces. I think Sioux Falls does a better job with this already than many places. I love seeing the growth of neighborhood associations, the strength of service clubs, the effort around mentorship of students and the increase in places to gather, including for free. All those efforts need to be multiplied, and I think it also starts one-on-one, reaching out to others who might be dealing with loneliness and making the time to connect.

Many workplaces, too, have invested in support for employees, but I still continually hear from those at all levels who feel considerable stress at work. I can’t say I’m immune from it either. But now that I’ve learned what it does to curiosity, I’m determined to address it the best I can.

There’s a lot about the world today that feels — and is — out of our individual control. But how we step away from screens, manage stress and connect with others? That can be as simple as a click or call away.

Annual WIN in Workforce Summit to help navigate new workplace reality