Dec. 20, 2023

This paid piece is sponsored by Avera Health.

Loneliness can be bad for your health – as bad as smoking or even worse than obesity and physical inactivity. Boosting your social connections can improve your quality of life – both on and off the job.

According to a Surgeon General’s 2023 report, being socially disconnected is similar to physical detriments caused by smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day and can be even worse than obesity and physical inactivity.

“Relationships help our mental health and our physical health, so our message is to try to stay connected – even if you don’t feel like it. If you’re invited to go out to a movie with friends, go – even if it’s the silliest movie ever made. It’s that important to maintain our social connections,” said Dr. David Ermer, clinical vice president for Avera’s Behavioral Health service line.

Loneliness increases the release of cortisol, the stress hormone, in your body. It can affect the cardiovascular system as well as immunity and gut-microbiome interactions. Ongoing loneliness can impact inflammation, which contributes to chronic conditions like heart disease, cancer and diabetes. What’s more, loneliness can worsen behavioral health conditions such as depression and anxiety. On the other side of the coin, people with strong connections are more likely to adopt healthier habits like a good diet, exercise and sleep habits, as well as preventive health care.

“Loneliness is being defined differently in today’s world of social media. Having just a few in-person friends is more valuable than having hundreds of internet friends. It’s those in-person connections that we vitally need,” Ermer said.

Why are we lonely?

• By choice: We may make the decision to withdraw from people, public places or hobbies because of depression, social anxiety or the fact that we’ve been hurt in the past.
• By circumstance: Some people lack transportation or have a physical disability that becomes a barrier to getting out among people. A move to a new city can leave you feeling friendless.
• Low-quality relationships: Some relationships can make you feel even lonelier than when you’re actually alone. Maybe communication is one-sided or you fear speaking up to work through problems.
• Working remotely: Though convenient, some work-from-home employees miss the small connections we naturally have throughout the day.
• Toxic work environments: Passive-aggressiveness, false promises or workplace bullying can cause people to feel alone with no reliable place to turn for support.

People are social creatures, hard-wired to be that way. Building healthy relationships and connections could improve many areas of your life, from better health to job performance.

Relationships have their ups and downs but are worth fighting for. Just like you, there are people out there looking for friendships. Be brave, put yourself out there and you’ll never know who may become a great connection for a season or a lifetime.

Here are just a few ideas:

• Volunteer.
• Get involved in church or civic organizations.
• Work out – at a gym or just walking around your neighborhood.
• Look for fun or exciting activities in your community that get you out and about.
• Take advantage of networking opportunities at work, step forward to get involved with a new project or sign up for a new committee.

“Know that you’re not the only one who feels lonely,” said Tim Heerts, clinical specialist with Avera Employee Assistance Program. “Many people are open to making connections and new friendships.”

Relationships are a two-way street. As much as you want to be included in the group or asked out to lunch, someone else wants to be included too.

“Take the next step, and ask a new acquaintance to coffee or lunch,” Heerts said. “Relationships take time to build, so while brief exchanges are great, it’s the longer interactions and vulnerabilities that build connections.”

Invest in existing relationships with relatives and family. Reach out; a surprise text from you saying, “Hey, how’s it going? It’s been awhile” might be exactly what they need to brighten their day.

Finally, shift your mindset. It’s normal to feel sorry for yourself if you’re experiencing a bout of loneliness. But don’t stay there. Discover your courage to step out of your comfort zone.

“Cultivating an awesome life that you love is in your power,” Heerts said. “People will notice and want to be a part of it.”

Learn more about Avera Behavioral Health Services.